Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Marriage is a good thing, however, staying in it and managing it is the challenge here. Divorce is on the increase not to talk about toxic and unhappy marriages. You got the power and everything within you to make your marriage a blissful one. There’re many questions you should consider asking you and your partner before marriage.

Each question is designed to make sure you know what you’re getting into before you make your life commitment! If you and your partner are seriously considering marriage, set aside some time to have these conversations before marriage so you can be sure of what you both think and feel.

The questions are divided into categories, communication, family planning, sex, financial management, health, work and career goals, past relationships, the extended family, values, politics, racism, and so on. The article is pretty long, consider using the table of content to navigate to which category you want, but if you think you have enough time, you may read all.

After reading through and answering these questions, you should be able to make an informed decision about starting a life with your partner. You should take care of the petty things in marriage before you get into it, here’re Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage.

Communication And Conflict Resolution Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

When it comes to how to make a relationship a good one, communication is key. There are several communication questions to ask yourself before marriage. A quick reminder, grudges, and misunderstanding will surely come up throughout the marriage. That’s why communication is so, so important. Going through these pre-marriage questions about communication and how to deal with conflict will enlighten you, you’ll get to know how to converse and handle conflicts.

  • 1. What do you and your partner typically argue about?
  • 2. What happens after you and your partner argue?
  • 3. Do you and your partner ever have issues apologizing?
  • 4. Does your partner ever hold grudges against you?
  • 5. How does your partner communicate their love for you?
  • 6. Do you have an unlisted telephone number? If yes, why?
  • 7. Do you consider yourself a communicator or a private person?
  • 8. What are the circumstances under which you would not answer the telephone, or cell phone?
  • 9. Has modem communication ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
  • 10. How does your partner make you feel safe and accepted?
  • 11. How do you know when your partner is upset?
  • 12. What does your partner do when they know you’re upset?
  • 13. Does your partner tell you when they have an issue with you?
  • 14. Does your partner tell you when they’re stressed?
  • 15. What does your partner do to make you smile?
  • 16. Has there ever been something you didn’t want to tell your partner?
  • 17. Do you ever fear your partner will judge you?
  • 18. Does your partner ever keep secrets from you?
  • 19. Do you have any trust issues when it comes to your partner?
  • 20. Would you be willing to go to marriage counseling if we were having marital problems?
  • 21. How do you handle disagreements?
  • 22. Would you ever consider divorce?
  • 23. Would you rather discuss issues as they arise or wait until you have a few problems?
  • 24. How would you communicate you aren’t satisfied sexually?
  • 25. What is the best way to handle disagreements in a marriage?
  • 26. How can I be better at communicating with you?
  • 27. How much time do you spend on the phone every day?
  • 28. Do you have a cell phone?
  • 29. Do you belong to any Internet chat groups?

Family Planning Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

When you’re about to marry, consider asking and addressing family planning issues beforehand. The number of children you want. The spacing between the children and how to raise them. Family planning is a great determinant as to how your budget will go. Family planning and its related issues tend to wreak havoc on weak marriages and bring bitterness to an otherwise healthy marriage. So it’s important to talk through the anticipated impact that children will have. Here are family planning questions you should ask yourself or even discuss with your partner before marriage.

  1. Do you and your partner both want children?
  2. Where would your partner ideally like to raise kids?
  3. At what point in your marriage would your partner like to start a family?
  4. If you give birth, how would your partner handle pregnancy and labor?
  5. How would your partner react if you had difficulty conceiving?
  6. Would your partner be open to alternative ways of becoming parents?
  7. What kind of childhood did your partner have?
  8. What are your thoughts on homeschooling?
  9. Would you be willing to adopt if we couldn’t have kids?
  10. Would you be willing to seek medical treatment if we couldn’t have kids naturally?
  11. Do you believe it’s OK to discipline your child in public?
  12. How do you feel about paying for your kid’s college education?
  13. How far apart do you want kids?
  14. Would you want someone to stay home with the kids or use daycare?
  15. Does your partner have a good relationship with their parents?
  16. Do you enjoy spending time with your partner’s parents?
  17. Does your partner like the way they were raised?
  18. What would be your partner’s parenting style?
  19. Does your partner enjoy being around your family?
  20. What kind of family traditions would your partner want to implement?
  21. How many children would you and your partner like to have?
  22. What kind of childcare would you like to have?
  23. What values do you want to install in your children?
  24. How do you want to discipline your kids?
  25. What would you do if one of your children said he was homosexual?
  26. What if your children don’t want to go to college
  27. How much say do children have in a family?
  28. How comfortable are you around children?
  29. Would you put your children in a private or public school?
  30. How would you feel if our kids wanted to join the military rather than go to college?
  31. How involved do you want grandparents to be in our parenting?
  32. How will we handle parental decisions?

Sex Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Sex is an element in marriages that makes it more blissful or breaks it up. Hence, your sex life requires special attention and you should give it the weight it deserves in your relationship. There’re serious questions you should consider asking yourself before your marriage (you can include your partner too). Consider having an open discussion about each other’s intimate needs. Here some questions to ponder about sex. 

  1. How often do you and your partner want to have sex?
  2. What sexual activities do you enjoy the most?
  3. Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable?
  4. Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? If yes, why? If no, why?
  5. What do you need to be in the mood for sex?
  6. Have you ever been sexually abused or assaulted?
  7. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about?
  8. Who taught you about sex?
  9. How often do you masturbate on your own?
  10. Do you know how often your partner masturbates?
  11. What kind of sex does your partner like to have?
  12. Are you satisfied with the way your sex life is right now?
  13. What will be your partner’s favorite sex position?
  14. What turns your partner on?
  15. What turns you on?
  16. Is your partner open with you in terms of sex?
  17. Does your partner like to use sex toys?
  18. Does your partner enjoy any kind of BDSM?
  19. Is there anything you feel is missing from your sexual relationship?
  20. Do you know if your partner watches porn?
  21. How would you handle it if your sex life became boring?
  22. Do you and your partner prioritize sex?
  23. Have you ever felt forced to have sex?
  24. Have you ever forced someone or been told that you forced someone to have sex with you?
  25. Is sexual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage?
  26. Do you enjoy viewing pornography?
  27. How often do you need or expect sex?
  28. Have you ever a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex?
  29. Has sexual dissatisfaction ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

Finances And Debt Servicing Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Finance is worth thinking about, not just thinking about it but also putting down measures to save yourself from a financial crisis when it pops up. Moreover, you need money for your marriage, for running the home, and so on. Hence, money, debt, and finances are important things to talk about before marriage. Here’re Finances And Debt Servicing Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage.

  1. Do you have any debt?
  2. How well do you budget?
  3. How do you feel about debt?
  4. Would you share all money with your spouse or split the money into different accounts?
  5. What are your views on saving money?
  6. What are your views on spending money?
  7. What if we both want something but can’t afford both?
  8. Do you feel it is important to save for retirement?
  9. Would you be willing to get a second job if we had financial problems?
  10. Who will take care of the financial matters of the household?

Health And Medical Information Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Health is at the center of everything, for a good and a happy marriage, you and your partner must be in good health. Here’re Health And Medical Information Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage. You may consider discussing it with your partner for a better marriage.

  1. How would you describe the current state of your health?
  2. Have you ever had a serious illness?
  3. Have you ever had surgery?
  4. Do you believe it is a sacred responsibility to take care of yourself?
  5. Do you believe that taking care of your physical and mental health is a part of honoring your marriage vows?
  6. What is your medical family history?
  7. Would you be opposed to mental health treatment?
  8. Will you be able to change your diet because of medical concerns?
  9. Are you willing to exercise to improve your health?
  10. Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness?
  11. Do you have health insurance?
  12. Do you belong to a gym? If so, how much time do you spend at the gym every week?
  13. Do you play sports or take exercise classes?
  14. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?
  15. Have you ever been in a serious accident?
  16. Do you take medication?
  17. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?
  18. Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder?
  19. Do you see a therapist?
  20. Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked?
  21. Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction?
  22. Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree?
  23. How much alcohol do you drink every week?
  24. Do you use recreational drugs?
  25. Do you have a medical problem that influences your ability to have a satisfying sex life (for example, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, drug/alcohol addiction, etc)?
  26. Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?
  27. Does anyone in your family suffer from alcoholism?

Work And Career Goals Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Work and career goals are important topics in marriage because it serves as the source of income. What work are you doing, are you in your chosen field of work, how do you see your career, these and many more questions coming up. Consider these questions before you make any big-time decisions.

  1. Are you working on your chosen field?
  2. How many hours a week do you work?
  3. What is your retirement plan?
  4. What do you plan to do when you stop working?
  5. Have you ever been fired?
  6. Where does your partner see their career in 10 years?
  7. How much time does your partner spend at work?
  8. How passionate is your partner about their career?
  9. How passionate are you about your career?
  10. What does your job entail? (For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, perform dangerous tasks?)
  11. What is your dream job?
  12. Have you ever been called a workaholic?
  13. Does your partner prioritize work over other aspects of their life?
  14. Does your partner view their occupation as their passion?
  15. How demanding is your partner’s job?
  16. Has work-life balance ever put a strain on your relationship?
  17. Does work interfere with the plans you have for life?
  18. How salary-driven are you and your partner?
  19. Does having a demanding job support the lifestyle you two enjoy?
  20. How supportive is your partner of your career goals?
  21. Do your individual career goals conflict with each other?
  22. How does your partner feel when they come home from work?
  23. Have you ever quit a job suddenly?
  24. Have you changed jobs a lot?
  25. Do you consider your work a career or just a job?
  26. Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

Relationship History And Lifestyle Preferences Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

It’s important to reflect on your past relationships and your expectations for your marriage. You should learn from your past mistakes and improve your strengths. You should consider discussing with your partner the time to spend alone and together, with family and friends and for hobbies. By so doing it will ensure a mutual feeling of support and shared meaning in life. Here’re Relationship History And Lifestyle Preferences Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage.

  1. Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship?
  2. Were you able to name your fear?
  3. When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person?
  4. What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it?
  5. What is the longest relationship you have ever had before this one?
  6. Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn?
  7. Where does your partner want to live?
  8. What kind of home do they want to live in? (ex. house, apartment, etc.)
  9. Are they an introverted or extroverted person?
  10. How much money do you need to live the lifestyle you both want?
  11. How much time will they expect to spend with you?
  12. Have you ever been married? If so, are you divorced or widowed? How do you think you handled the loss?
  13. If you have a current partner, do they know of behaviors that you exhibited in your previous relationship that you’re not proud of?
  14. Do you believe that past relationships should be left in the past and not talked about in your current relationship?
  15. Do you tend to judge current partners on past relationships?
  16. Have you ever sought marriage counseling? What did the experience teach you?
  17. Do you have children from previous marriages or non-marital relationships? What is your relationship with them? How do you see your relationship with them in the future?
  18. Have you ever been engaged to be married but didn’t go through with the wedding?
  19. Have you ever had a live-in partner? Why did you choose to live together instead of marrying? What did your experience teach you about the importance of marriage and commitment?
  20. Do you harbor fears that the person you love might reject you or fail out of love with you?
  21. How much time will they expect to spend alone?
  22. How much traveling does your partner want to do?
  23. How often do they like to go to parties?
  24. How often do they like to stay in?
  25. Do they like sleeping in on the weekends?
  26. What is your partner’s ideal vacation?
  27. Does your partner like to cook or order out?
  28. What does your partner like to do after work?

Extended Families Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

You need to set boundaries for your family especially the extended one. How often they visit you and how often you visit them. How do you relate to them, are they close, when was the last time you pay a visit, these and many more questions coming up. All these are an attempt to a happy marriage!

  1. Are you close to your family?
  2. How often would you want to visit your family?
  3. How often will your family visit us?
  4. Are you or have you ever been alienated from your family?
  5. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family?
  6. Have you identified the childhood wound that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past, the deeply imprinted fear that made you want to escape? How were you most hurt in your family; and who hurt you?
  7. How important is it that you and your partner be on good terms with each other’s families?
  8. How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges?
  9. How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions?
  10. Have unresolved or ongoing family issues ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?
  11. Include some family and relation inquiries among the 100 questions to ask your partner.
  12. What if one of your family members said he disliked me?
  13. How would you handle holiday family visits?
  14. If your parents became ill, would you take them in?
  15. If my parents became ill, would you mind taking them in?

Race, Ethnicity, And Differences Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Race, ethnicity, and difference can’t be ignored when it comes to marriage. Some families don’t like to marry black people or from other countries and vice versa. Pondering on such questions and taking measures will help in your marriage.

  1. What did you learn about race and ethnic differences as a child?
  2. Which of those beliefs from childhood do you still carry; and which have you shed?
  3. Does your work environment look more like the United Nations, or as a mirror of yourself? How about your personal life?
  4. How would you feel if your child dated someone of a different race or ethnicity? The same gender? How would you feel if he or she married this person?
  5. Are you aware of your own biases regarding race and ethnicity? What are they? Where did they come from? (We aren’t born biased, we learn it, and it’s important to trace where it was learned.)
  6. Have race, ethnicity, and differences ever been a source of tension and stress for you in a relationship?
  7. What were your family’s views of race, ethnicity, and difference?
  8. Is it important to you that your partner shares your vision of race, ethnicity, and difference?
  9. Have different ideas about race, ethnicity~ and difference ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

Moral, Political, Religious, Family Values, and Beliefs Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage

Things To Do If Your Partner Is Cheating

Moral, political, religious, family values, and beliefs are the major sources of division in marriages. Consider discussing these questions with your partner before getting married.

  1. What are your views on infidelity?
  2. What are your religious views on marriage?
  3. What’s more important, work or family?
  4. What are your political views?
  5. What are your views on birth control?
  6. Would you rather be rich and miserable or poor and happy?
  7. Who will make the biggest decisions of the household?
  8. What would you do if someone said something bad about me?
  9. Would you follow the advice of your family before your spouse?
  10. What do you believe the role of a wife is?
  11. Who should do household chores?
  12. What do you believe the role of a husband is?

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here