failing relationships and marriages

Failing relationships and marriages are on the rise. Most of these common reasons are internal. That is to say, a greater percentage of the reasons for failing relationships and marriages are from the partners in it. In this article, we present to you 18 Common Reasons For Failing Relationships And Marriage. We hope this will help you to adjust things for the better.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #1

Having A Lot Of Secrets

Having A Lot Of Secrets

Secrets are relationships and marriage killers. Hiding some critical information from your partner will not worth it in long-term relationships and marriages. Sometimes secrets baffle understanding and cannot be explained. To continue hiding this information you think shouldn’t be passed on to your partner, you keep behaving a certain way. You lie about them anytime your partner asks you whether you have something to say. Most people in relationships say that if they tell their partners their secrets they will not like them; again, they’ll not handle it well.

This means that you’re not in true love. Because True love is “utmost good faith” meaning it does not hold back anything; no secrets. Love is the absence of fear. Holding secrets is a failing relationship and marriage sign, take note. It’s better you let the cat out of the bag and address it now or risk your relationship or marriage when your partner finds out later!

Reasons For Failing Relationships #2

Comparing Your Relationship With Others

18 Most Common Reasons For Failing Relationships And Marriage

To compare is to examine and note the similarities or differences of your relationship with someone else’s. That’s the worst thing you can do to your relationship. Those with whom you compare your relationship have different relationship goals. Again, you’ll not have all the information regarding their relationships, hence, the information you gathered might be outward-looking, superficial, and hearsays. This is a common reason for failing relationships trending today.

By comparing with others, you’ll feel like you’re with the wrong person and nothing will make you happy since you have that negative notion. Consider comparing your relationship with your own. The preceding sentence is not a typo. Ask yourself how your relationship has been for the previous month or year, and how it is this month. What has gone worse, and what’s is better. From there, you take the necessary corrective measures to make things better.

If you compare your relationship to others, you’re setting someone’s relationship as a benchmark against which you compare yours with. It means that your success or failure in a relationship depends on others. Failing relationships don’t come by themselves but by the partners involved! Remember “Comparison is the thief of joy,” note Behrendt and Ruotola. “Focus on your relationship rather than coveting someone else’s. The grass is greener where you water it and no relationship is as flawless as it looks on Instagram.”

Reasons For Failing Relationships #3

Not Compromising

Not Compromising

Compromising is not a defeat but a wise decision to make in some situations. It’s a way of considering your partner’s feelings. Partners insisting that their choice hold is a trait of failing relationships. In a healthy, committed relationship, to compromise is to make “the conscious choice to accept each other for exactly who you are,”.

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Reasons For Failing Relationships #4

Seeing Your Partner As Inferior

Seeing Your Partner As Inferior

What makes you think that your partner is of low grade, low quality hence, has fallen short of “prescribe norm”? How will you value and accord them the respect that they deserve? This is contempt and it inflicts pains and anger in the heart of your partner, they’ll never be committed in the relationship. Contempt in relationships is a telltale indicator of failing relationships and it’s a sign that your relationship will go nowhere.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #5

Holding On To The Past

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Failing relationships focus on the past! How can you live in the present and focus when you’re living in the past? Why don’t you let go and be free? Living in the past is like carrying tons of load on your head while walking. You can tell straight from the surface that you’ll not move fast because the past is holding you. In relationships, your complete and undivided emotional and physical presence is required to make things work. If you want your current relationship to last, leave the past in the past and let go of the things that are holding you back.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #6

Trusting Issues

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To trust is to have complete confidence in a person. Trust issues account for a reasonable percentage of failing relationships and divorce. Trust is one of the foundations upon which every happy and lasting relationships and marriage stand. If you don’t trust your partner you risk lacking both physical and emotional intimacy. Mistrust will make you not have clear conscience for your partner, hence, always tracking them here and there.

I understand that trust is not an easy thing to build with someone especially if you’ve been betrayed in the past. Nonetheless, you should have faith in the person with whom you intend to spend the rest of your life otherwise your relationship will not work. Should you build a partnership on a foundation of mistrust, you can almost guarantee that eventually your partner will get fed up and walk away.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #7

Not Taking Responsibilities

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You’ll like to take all the credit for the good things but will never take responsibility for your actions. Real Love Is Apologizing And Taking ResponsibilityOne of the signs of failing relationships and marriage is not taking responsibility for actions and apologizing when at fault! This is a tonic that heals relationships but unfortunately, most partners fail to do it. Just as you take credit for the good things, take responsibility for your actions too. It has to be a balanced equation! When at fault admit and render a proper apology. That’s what true love means! A simple and sincere apology can make things work.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #8

Not Reading and Understanding The “Times”

Not Reading and Understanding The “Times”

A relationship is full of up and downs, it’s expected that you two should read the times and adjust to them. You should realize when the well is drying and when there is a bumper harvest. In a nutshell, read, know and understand the hard times. This is the time you need each other for support and encouragement. Persistent trivial complaints don’t solve problems but give headaches. Both of you must go through the pains and share in the joy, that’s what true love means. Failing relationships don’t have these attributes!

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Reasons For Failing Relationships #9

Playing the “tit for tat” Game

Playing the “tit for tat” Game

Failing relationships and marriage play the retaliation game, I mean the revenge game. Instead of forgiving and letting go, they repay each other in the relationship creating a toxic environment. When we start measuring the bad behaviors that we do for each other and taking revenge accordingly, it creates tensions, a cause of failing relationships and marriage.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #10

Fighting To Win

Fighting To Win

Partners that have failing relationships and marriage fight to win. Every relationship fights and experiences some misunderstandings, but healthy ones end them with both parties apologizing and taking partial blame for what has transpired. If you want to win, then your partner has to lose, something none of you will accept. This is typical in a relationship that’s reaching its breaking point, you might find that either partner refuses to accept any of the blame. A relationship is not a champion league final where there must be a winner, it’s a partnership.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #11

 Not Knowing How To Communicate

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Communication is a big deal when it comes to relationships. Communication can build a relationship healthier or easily tear it down. Knowing how to talk to your partner is important and entails many things. Initiating conversations even is a challenge to some partners in a relationship. A simple invitation to a conversation can be “hi darling” or hello darling.” Address your partner well; accord them the necessary respect for that matter.

Not because you’re in a relationship so you talk to your partner anyhow. As we said earlier, timing, place, and the intonation of your voice are very important. To make a relationship work, don’t shout at your partner even if you’re “fighting”. Initiating a friendly and polite dialogue is not only a key to making a relationship work but also making it last. Failing relationships and marriage ignore it.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #12

Not Listening And Considering

Not Listening And Considering

Love Is Freeness And Openness. Every person in a relationship just wants their voice to be heard—but in return, you need to give your partner that same respect and listen to what they’re saying. In a healthy and happy relationship, you’re free to express yourself friendly and frankly. You’re not under pressure or on edge to say or do anything. If your partner thinks that you’re ignoring them, they will feel like their opinions and emotions aren’t important to you—and consequently, neither is the relationship. A healthy relationship considers the views of each other before making decisions, a relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #13

Playing The Blame Game

Playing The Blame Game

Committed partners look for solutions to challenges but failing relationships and marriage find whom to blame. Even if you’re not the one, you work together and eliminate that challenge. Happy and committed relationships wonder about what’s not working, the cause of things, and finding solutions not pushing blame. They try to find an antidote to those challenges. Tackle those challenges your strength can help you with and seek assistance when you need it. Both partners must focus on what they can prevent, control, and curtail the uncontrollable! Failing relationships and marriage don’t do this, don’t be one!

Reasons For Failing Relationships #14

Not Empathetic

Not Empathetic

Empathy is a relation of affinity or harmony between people; whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other. A person who loves you wears your shoes and understands what you’re going through. A healthy and happy relationship should revolve around how each person is feeling. However, partners in unstable relationships often find themselves fighting with their significant other, with little to no regard for how the other person feels. Try understanding and entering into each other’s feelings. Help and support each other physically, psychologically, and emotionally. Failing relationships and marriage don’t do this.

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Reasons For Failing Relationships #15

Not Showing Appreciation

Not Showing Appreciation

Showing appreciation makes relationships “beautiful.” When your significant other cooks a delicious meal, don’t forget to thank them for all that hard work. When your partner drops you off, thank them. Otherwise, your partner will feel like all their efforts have gone unnoticed, or that you feel like your time is more valuable than theirs.

“Taking a partner for granted undermines all relationships,” explains Poppy Spencer, MS, CPC, a certified counselor and relationship expert in Florida. “Whether people acknowledge it or not, being a value to a significant other is essential. When gratitude is not expressed, emotional, and sometimes physical, health is compromised.” You might think that your gratitude is implied, but it helps your partner to hear that they’re appreciated.

Reasons For Failing Relationships #16

Self-Seeking

Self-Seeking

If you’re self-seeking, be on your own don’t be in a relationship. Selfishness doesn’t bring anything good to a relationship but rather ruin it. Relationships are all about to give and take. If you take more than you give, then the balance will be thrown off and your partner will likely seek comfort in other places and people. This is such a well-known phenomenon that experts have even given it a name: It’s called the Social Exchange Theory. According to Mark V. Redmond of Iowa State University, the theory outlines how “we are disturbed when there is no equity in an exchange or where others are rewarded more for the same costs we incurred.”

Reasons For Failing Relationships #17

Not Showing Affection

Not Showing Affection

Showing both, emotional and physical affection goes a long way to make your relationship happier and stronger. Partners in failing relationships don’t study each other and see the time they are happy or down and support them. Showing physical affection can be as easy as kissing, holding hands, hugging, giving a back scratch, or putting a hand around your significant other’s shoulder. Physical affection has a myriad of benefits. It releases feel-good hormones, reduces blood pressure, helps to release stress, it improves mood, and it’s associated with higher relationship satisfaction. Failing relationships don’t have these benefits!

Reasons For Failing Relationships #18

Unexpected Events

Unexpected Events

When a big and unexpected life events, like the death of a parent or a sudden job layoff occurs, it can vibrate a relationship to its foundation. Oftentimes, these life-changing moments will result in other major changes that many relationships struggle to survive.

“Sometimes due to a death in the family, development of an illness, or simply a desire to change careers, a person may want to move to a different area, work less, or they pick up bad habits, like drinking, drugs,” says Regina DeMeo, a matrimonial attorney in Bethesda, Maryland. “If your partner doesn’t agree with these changes, then you no longer have a shared vision of where you need to be or where you are heading, which leads to incompatible differences.” Most relationships and marriages fail at this point. When the storm comes will you stay or quit?

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