Parenting is one of the toughest works on earth I’ve ever seen. Not only how demanding it is but also you need to equip and improve your parenting skills for more effective parenting. Congratulations for finding your way here. It means, you want to improve on your parenting skills. We have outlined in this parenting article, 8 Ways To Improve Your Parenting Skills For More Effective Parenting.
Who Is A Parent?
In this context, parent means the source where children come from. A father or mother, one who begets or one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child. It can also be a relative or someone who plays the role of guardian. In practice, it is the act of looking after a child until it is an adult.
For your parenting to be more effective, you need to equip yourself with good parenting skills. This doesn’t mean you should be the perfect one, after all no one is perfect!
What Is The Meaning Of Parenting Skills?
Parenting skills simply mean having the ability to handle situations and to produce solutions in the parenting problem domain. These parenting skills are acquired through pieces of training, learning from others, and personal experiences. You need to be dynamic. You must figure out what skills work in certain situations. Parenting skills that were relevant some time ago, may not work these days, that’s why we need to improve our parenting skills for more effective parenting.
What Is A Parent’s Role
Parents as the source of children have the role to strive to make decisions in the best interest of the child. A parent’s responsibility is to raise the children, well mannered and full of knowledge about life so that they become dependable people in society. In general, a parent is to give a good start to their children, instill in them good values, encourage good school works, influence, and prepare them to be independent.
In a speedily changing world, parenting is subject to changes in trends, parenting skills, and parenting styles. With that said, and explained, you need to improve your parenting skills for more effective parenting. That brings us to the topic of the day, 10 Ways To Improve Your Parenting Skills For More Effective Parenting.
10 Ways To Improve Your Parenting Skills For More Effective Parenting.
Improving Role Modeling Skills
One of the great ways to improve your parenting skills for more effective parenting is to examine and improve your role modeling skills. Are you worthy of imitation? Because that’s what a good role model means. Trust me, children are cleaver than you think, they scrutinize things around them even you! Events and actions remain in their memories for long. They tend to practice what their parents do. Don’t do anything in front of your children that you wouldn’t want them to do.
Do you fight and rain insult on your partner in front of your children? How do you react to situations when they arise? The way you treat each other in the presence of your children is the same way your kids will treat others. They also react to situations as you do. If you’re exhibiting some bad behaviors that you don’t want your child to imitate, then it’s a high time you changed the way you react in certain situations.
Your kids will copy what you do, not what you say. I realize that my kids follow a routine, morning, and evening. Before bed, they clean and floss their teeth and in the morning, they do the same. They follow this and other routines in the home because these are what they see us do every day.
Do you blame others; your kids will end up not admitting their faults let alone be responsible for their actions. If you’re industrious, your children will ascertain that it takes hard work and determination to succeed in life. If you run away from challenges instead of finding solutions to them, your kids will end up being weak. Now, they must see you managing your responsibilities to the best of your abilities. Capitalize on your strengths and improve upon your weaknesses. This is a way of improving your role modeling skills as a parenting skill for more effective parenting.
Just remember, you aren’t trying to be perfect, but doing your best to teach them hard work, and honesty. Kids learn through actions quicker than just telling them, hence, don’t tell your child what you want them to do but show them. To improve on your role modeling skills you must mold the traits you desire to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. By showing unselfish behavior, you show your kids how to make the world a better place to live. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.
Show them positive behavior and attitude and your child will follow. The synopsis of this point is that good role modeling skills require that you be the person you want your children to be. You’re the leader and your children are following; how you control and direct them is where they’ll go!
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Improving Your Communication Skills
Improving your communication skills is fundamental to improving your parenting skills for more effective parenting. Communication is how you relate to your kids through verbal and nonverbal methods, listening, and psychology.
Improve your information skills. Learn to give clear information to your kids about what you want them to do. Explain the basis for them for better understanding and execution. Let them know the motives behind the things we ask them to do. Tell them the result that you expect. Guide and show them how.
Non-verbal communication, your mood, countenance, and gesticulations matter a lot. Your prevailing psychological state communicates a lot to your kids, it shows whether you are courageous or weakling. What can be said of your gestures, does it portray someone who is always angered or someone charismatic?
Listening is part of good communication. You may impose some decisions on your kids so far as that is the best thing to do in certain situations. However, not in all cases; you need to pay close attention or give heed to your kids. Consider their suggestions and choices. Listening to your kids makes them feel valued and cared for. Let your kids participate in decisions, they will be motivated to carry them out.
How do you improve your communication skills? Mind your tone when you talk to your kids. Your tone determines the general atmosphere of your home or situation and the effect that it has on people, especially, your kids. If you shout at your children, they will grow to become timid. If you don’t listen to them, they’ll feel worthless. Validate their emotions this way you can understand them better.
Improving Anger Controlling Skills
Anger is a strong emotion; a feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance. Anger control is what differentiates between good parent and a bad one. If you heard your child has done something bad, consider hearing your child first before taking the next step. Don’t beat them out of anger before later on ascertaining the truth. Lack of anger control made many parents make hasty decisions that they regret later.
Someone once told me that great people are not those who have the wealth, but those that can control themselves. If you lose your cool in front of your kids, they may become fearful or anxious. Again, out of fear, they’ll not relate to you well. Anger control is a great parenting skill for more effective parenting.
You need to control your anger if you’re arguing with someone who offended you, your coworker, or your subordinates. In the event of disagreement with your partner, try not to exhibit mean behavior in the presence of your children. What you do is what they think is best; it will be with them as they grow. These awkward behaviors are what they take into marriages.
Again, understand that anytime you lose control, yell, or argue with someone, you’re showing your children this is how people react when times get tough. Instead, show how you can keep your cool and calmly resolve problems. When you do, you’re showing them what emotional intelligence looks like.
If you realize that you’re losing your cool:
- Be slow to speak
- Consider getting out for sometime
- Consider not taking any hasty actions
- Hear the other side of the story before making any decisions
However, if you lose your cool in some situations, be sure to apologize and take responsibility for your anger. Doing so is another way to model healthy behavior.
Improving Your Disciplinary Skills
Develop a system of rules of conduct that will bind everyone in the house. Parents must not break the rules themselves and expect the kids to abide by them. Hypocrisy cannot build a home! Living by example is one of the best parenting skills I’ve ever seen. This system of rules will become the basis for punishment if the kids go wayward. The main aim of discipline is to gain control and enforce obedience. This will help the kids choose acceptable behaviors, improve strength, and learn self-control.
To improve on your disciplinary skills for more effective parenting, you need to develop sequences through which you discipline your kids when they go wayward. How do you react when your kids made a mistake? Do you yell at them? The best thing to consider doing is to look for the cause of the mistake or the reason why they behave in a certain way.
Your kids must be heard to establish the truth. Teach and correct them, show them better ways of doing things. Educating your kids on certain topics will prevent some mistakes and bad characters; especially when they know, the consequence attached to it. This way, you’re training them how to be independent and take responsibility for their actions. As a parent, you’re responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference and how the child receives it.
When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.
Improving Your Time Management Skills
Time management is crucial when it comes to parenting. Busy schedules made it difficult for parents and children to see each other let alone spend quality time together. Some parents employ babysitters to take care of their children. They wake up at dawn while the kids are still asleep to their various jobs and before they come back at dusk, the kids go to bed. For weeks and months, they end up not seeing the face of their kids.
This is a very sad situation; however, this is the reality. Improving your time management skills will go a long way to reduce stress and make time for your kids. Whatever values, your house help, and babysitters instill in your kids that’s what they will grow up with. That’s the consequence associated with the service of babysitters. A huge price you have to pay for not making time to raise your kids.
Because of role modeling and therefore, what your kids will become in the future, it is advisable for at least one of the partners, especially the mother to stay home and take care of the kids, even if it means quitting her job. Before, the baby is even delivered off; both partners must have a plan out, how to raise the kid.
- Make it a habit for your kids to have breakfast and dinner together with you.
- Travel together with your kids
- Do workout with your kids
- Play with your kids
- Have a small class, at least a week with your kids
- Watch movies with your kids
Do everything just to spend quality time with your kids. Your kids need your undivided attention. This is the way to show them care and belongingness. Have time for kids before they start misbehaving and even reject you as a parent!
Loving And Showing How To Love
Love is what binds every relationship together, even kids and parents. Do things that show you love your kids not just saying it. A little flower from a trip is enough to make a happy day for your kid. Hug and kiss them often, hold their hands, stroke their hair. This shows trust, love, and care from a good parent.
Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These chemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment. From this, the child will develop resilience and not to mention a closer relationship with you.
Another way to show love is to spend time together. This is a great way to show kids that they are a priority to you. Just don’t forget to actively engage with them. This means putting down your phone and interacting with your kids.
Also, initiate interactive activities, such as playing old-fashioned board games, enjoying outdoor activities, or simply talking with your children to make the most of the time you have together. Showing interest in things that they are passionate about is another great way to show your kids that you love and them.
Improving Child’s Self-Esteem
Building your child’s self-esteem is vital to emotional intelligence. This will not only boost their morale but also make them courageous and independent when they grow. Children begin developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your kids absorb the manner you speak, your body language, and your body disposition. Your words and actions as a parent influence their developing self-esteem.
Try not to instill fear into them rather; shower praise for even small accomplishments that will make them feel proud. Let your kids practice how to do things on their own and supervise them. This way, they’ll feel capable and strong? By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.
Avoid making negative comments and raining insults on your kids. Comments like “don’t you have sense!,” “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” cause damage just as physical blows do. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don’t love their behavior.
Don’t Stop Reading
If you want to improve on your parenting skills, then don’t stop reading; reading means improvement. Reading is a great way to refresh your memories and learn new ways of parenting. There are many books on parenting that will improve your parenting skills for more effective parenting. If you stop reading, you become outdated.